David Ray Pauwels has one wife, two parents, three children, and four goals in life: 1) keep the wife happy, 2) make the parents proud, 3) raise the children right, and 4) find time for other goals. One of these is writing farfetched stories that have absolutely nothing to do with the human condition, current events, or popular appeal. He lives in Canada and his hobbies include listening to music and tasting food. He also enjoys deveining tangerines and scolding his imaginary butler. He has no pets but plans to hold auditions in the near future (Anopheles mosquitoes need not apply).